The Fool Who Invented Kissing
If you hurry, you can still
buy a copy of the
SIGNED CHAPBOOK LIMITED PRINT EDITION.
LIMITED to 250 copies. Sure to become a valuable collectible!
24 Shorties™, 13 Illustrations.
Buy the signed, numbered, limited edition! FREE SHIPPING!
...more sample Shorties™ below.
Somebody Call The Cops!
My first new car!
Now it sits, smashed and leaking.
I’d hit a cop car. Right in front of the cop shop!
Not my fault, the officer agreed.
Inside the police station, a sergeant hands me an accident report.
“Look on the bright side,” he smiles, “at least you don’t have to call
Hilda wasn’t coming. He was sure of that now, as he rocked on the
porch in the muggy Florida air.
“Hilda isn’t coming,” he whispered.
He whistled in the dark and rocked himself to sleep.
He was dreaming of Hilda when she hit, flattening his house and
roaring through town at 180 miles per hour.
the Winner is . . .
After his girlfriend left him,
he dropped a wad at Bingo and blew
a fortune on the pools. His platoon buddies derisively call him
Now, shells burst only yards away and a sniper pins them down.
“Alright, boys,” the sergeant yells, “who’s gonna take out that
“Suggest we draw lots, SIR!” hollers Lucky.
Death By Fashion
I could die!
Mom makes me wear this dweebie skirt to school. Like, plaid…
I hate Moms!
I know my life is over as I stamp off, screaming.
In homeroom, Jessica Thomson — only THE most popular girl in
school — is wearing the exact same skirt.
She winks and gives me the ‘thumbs up’.
Where There’s A Will...
“You make much ado about
nothing, Will,” says the Publisher.
“This has been done to death; it’s dead as a doornail. Puhleeese
...no more star-crossed lovers, or heroes with that lean and hungry
look! Drop the clichés.”
“I’ll tell Francis,” says Will. “I’m just his lowly agent.”
“The more fool you,” replies the Publisher.
The Gods are sitting on the edge,
flicking singularities into the
“Watch!” says Zeus.
“Duuhhh,” Vishnu remarks, as s/he lets one fly at twice the speed
“My turn,” says Deus.
A nanosecond later (seems like eternity), spectacular fireworks
light the dark.
“Sure made a Big Bang,” says Vishnu.
If you enjoyed these sample Shorties™, you can read all 96
of them in the PDF eBook edition of The Fool Who Invented Kissing,
with 25 Illustrations by David Botten.
Published by Fictive Press.
Buy & download the eBook in your favorite eReader format at Smashwords.com